A 22-year-old guy in South Carolina was busted last week at an adult store . . . when an employee caught him trying to steal some pocket-sized artificial LADY PARTS. He's facing a shoplifting charge.
In your lifetime, you'll go through 175 pairs of jeans . . . 310 pairs of shoes . . . 86,000 cups of coffee . . . 1.3 million sheets of toilet paper . . . just under 40,000 gallons of gas . . . and 2.9 million gallons of water. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikerose/how-much-stuff-youll-use-in-your-life#41bg3zo
A Walmart in Mexico is being investigated right now for allegedly hosting a promotional COCKFIGHT earlier this week. They could be facing a fine of up to $7,240 . . . but they say it wasn't a REAL cockfight since no one was gambling on it and the roosters weren't wearing blades.
An 18-year-old in Idaho was driving on Sunday morning with three friends, when one of them thought it'd be funny to light his ARMPIT HAIR on fire WHILE he was behind the wheel. He lost control and rolled the SUV. Two people were thrown from it, and no one inside was wearing seatbelts . . . but they all survived without any serious injuries. http://www.ktvb.com/story/news/local/2014/09/17/hair-fire-crash/15794857/
A married couple in Michigan invited a HOMELESS GUY to have a THREESOME with them on Friday . . . but the husband got upset when his wife had some one-on-one action with him on the sidelines. The homeless guy tried to smooth things over by making burgers, but the husband ended up BRAWLING with him. Now the husband is facing up to 10 years in prison for felony assault.
A 31-year-old guy in South Carolina was at a strip club on Monday, and a stripper named CHOCOLATE CHAMBERS asked him to buy her an expensive drink. When he didn't, she knocked him out and stole his Crown Royal bag full of cash. The police are trying to track Chocolate down. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/man-robbed-by-stripper-Chocolate-Chambers-687432
An 18-year-old employee at a pizza place in Texas was mad when a customer called in an order right before closing time a few weeks ago . . . so he RUBBED HIS JUNK on the pizza. But the customer SAW him do it, and confronted him. The guy was fired and was arrested for felony tampering.
CNN says JOAN RIVERS' doctor snapped a selfie with her while she was under anesthesia, right before he performed the biopsy on her vocal cords that killed her. http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/16/showbiz/joan-rivers-clinic/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
Police in Florida got a 911 call on Sunday from a guy who heard his neighbors ATTACKING each other. When a cop got there, it turned out they were just having rough sex on the living room floor. The neighbor heard them because they didn't have air conditioning and left their windows open. No one was arrested.
Police in Florida got a 911 call on Sunday from a guy who heard his neighbors ATTACKING each other. When a cop got there, it turned out they were just having rough sex on the living room floor. The neighbor heard them because they didn't have air conditioning and left their windows open. No one was arrested. http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2014/09/15/surge-available-on-amazon/15665317/
A 26-year-old woman in Seattle broke into a guy's house last June, pinned him down . . . and started having sex with him while he was asleep. He woke up and found her on top of him . . . and even though she was 240 pounds, he managed to squirm out from under her. She was arrested for sexual assault.
Apparently, grandmas around the world keep accidentally tagging themselves on Facebook as Grandmaster Flash. It's because when you type on Facebook, it suggests people's names you might be trying to tag . . . so when you type "Grandma," it suggests "Grandmaster Flash." http://grampaandgrandmasterflash.tumblr.com/
There's a new survey on all the RUDE things we do. 62% of us have peed in the shower . . . 42% pick our noses . . . 36% pass gas around other people . . . 35% talk during movies . . . and 5% cut our fingernails or toenails in a public place.
A 31-year-old from California is raising awareness for testicular cancer . . . by pushing a six-foot-tall TESTICLE across the country. He started last week, and says his goal is to encourage more guys to get tested, because if you catch it early, there's a 96% survival rate. http://www.ksbw.com/news/salinas-man-travels-cross-country-with-inflatable-testicle/27947630
A new survey found there's a surprising amount of neighbor-on-neighbor hooking up . . . even for married people. One in 10 people say they've kissed, dated, or had SEX with a neighbor at some point in their lives. And one in 20 people say they're having an AFFAIR with a neighbor RIGHT NOW
A 35-year-old woman in Florida was mad at her boyfriend for texting on Sunday, so she set him on FIRE. He was airlifted to the hospital, and she told the cops they were doing the "fire challenge" . . . a stupid viral video thing where you light yourself on fire. But he told the cops the truth, and she was arrested. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/woman-set-boyfriend-on-fire-claims-fire-challenge-675432
Two coworkers in Maryland were eating lunch together last week, and one of them accused the other of eating one of his MEATBALLS. The fight escalated . . . and the guy wound up STABBING his coworker in the arm. There's a warrant out for him now. http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/harford/fallston-joppa/ph-ag-meatball-stabbing-0910-20140905,0,435069.story
A 45-year-old guy in Missouri had to report to jail on Monday for drug charges. And when the cops were booking him, they decided to do a strip search . . . and found meth in his sock, and a glass meth pipe hidden in one of his STOMACH FAT ROLLS. He got hit with two extra felony charges. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/methamphetamine/glass-meth-pipe-in-fat-roll-546091
Joan Rivers, who died on Thursday at 81, joked in her 2012 bestseller “I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me” about what she wanted at her funeral.
ATennessee family says one performer crossed the line at the Delta Fair in Memphis, throwing out racial epithets to rile them up. http://www.newser.com/story/193370/clown-canned-for-shouting-insults-at-black-family.html
A woman was jogging in Pennsylvania on Tuesday when a 19-year-old guy grabbed her and pulled down her shorts . . . then took off. But he didn't realize she was a U.S. MARSHAL . . . who then chased him down and beat him up. He was arrested for aggravated and indecent assault.
A fantastic new survey found THREE out of FOUR women say they prefer a guy with a BIG BELLY and love handles than a guy with six-pack abs. Women say guys with abs have worse personalities . . . and they can't relax and have fun. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2741786/Good-news-guys-Over-75-women-prefer-FLAB-abs-Sex-therapist-Tracey-Cox-explains-women-DON-T-want-chiselled-perfection-bed.html
A 25-year-old woman in Utah stole a ring from a jewelry store over the weekend, and SWALLOWED it. Now she's in jail and the cops are waiting for it to work its way out . . . but they say they aren't paid enough to dig for it themselves. So the woman has to dig through her own poop until it turns up. She's facing a felony theft charge.
A 23-year-old woman and her 20-year-old boyfriend were at a Walmart in Ohio in the middle of the night last week . . . and stole four SEX TOYS worth about $30.52. They were vibrating rings made by Trojan and Lifestyles. Both of them are facing theft charges.
A coffee shop in Washington called Java Juggs had sexy female baristas wearing very little clothing, serving $6 cups of coffee . . . and apparently, offering more on the side. Turns out they were all secretly HOOKERS. The owner was just charged with promoting prostitution and money laundering.
A woman in Colorado was driving to a meeting last week, looked down to text that she'd be late, and crashed into a guardrail. Somehow it went through the front of her car, through her thigh . . . and impaled her BUTT. She needed emergency surgery, but she survived. http://www.9news.com/story/news/local/2014/08/31/texting-while-driving-pole-impales-buttocks-thighs/14
The very first Denny's in Manhattan opened over the weekend, and it's got a $300 Grand Slam breakfast. You get two standard Grand Slam breakfasts of eggs, pancakes, sausage, and bacon . . . but it also comes with a bottle of 2004 Dom Perignon Premier Cru champagne. Denny's says that's a bargain . . . other restaurants in New York sell the same bottle for at least $400. http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/eats/nyc-denny-offers-dom-perignon-article-1.1920117
According to a new study, short guys have a significantly lower rate of divorce than tall guys, and are more likely to make more money than their wives. Tall guys get married at a younger age, and are more likely to do housework.
A new list ranked 366 U.S. cities from most American to least American . . . based on how their demographics, income, and housing compare to the entire country. The most American city is Nashville, Tennessee . . . and the LEAST American is McAllen, Texas, which is at the very southern tip of Texas. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2014/08/28/most-american-united-states-city/14724045/
A 29-year-old stripper in Florida was working on Wednesday when her 10-year-old daughter disappeared from a family barbecue. So the cops called the strip club to try to get some info. But she HUNG UP on them, because she had to get on stage. The cops eventually found her daughter, and she was arrested for obstruction. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/stripper-hangs-up-on-cop-576432
A 37-year-old guy in Italy was sentenced to 11 months in jail for some minor crimes and the judge let him serve it at home. But after less than three months, he's asked to go to JAIL . . . to get away from constantly fighting with his wife. http://www.thelocal.it/20140827/rome-man-begs-for-jail-to-escape-wife
A 22-year-old babysitter in Florida was at a barbecue with a 32-year-old dad she works for, and wanted to have sex with him. When he kept turning her down, she STABBED him in the NECK. He survived and only needed a few stitches . . . she was arrested and charged with felony battery.
A 40-year-old guy in Florida wanted to marry his girlfriend, so on Monday he asked her 72-year-old father for permission. The dad said NO . . . and the guy responded by BEATING him up. He was arrested for felony domestic battery on a person over 65. http://www.ocala.com/article/20140826/ARTICLES/140829765/1455?Title=MCSO-Man-72-beaten-after-refusing-permission-for-marriage&tc=ar
A 52-year-old homeless guy in Northern Ireland found a mattress in the garage of an old folks' home on Saturday . . . and decided to watch porn on his portable DVD player while he HUMPED it. But the DVD was too loud, and someone called the cops. He was charged with outraging public decency and committing a lewd act.
A 27-year-old guy from France was on an American Airlines flight on Sunday from Paris to Dallas, Texas . . . but he got kicked off before takeoff because he SMELLED BAD. Now he's filed a complaint for discrimination. http://www.thelocal.fr/20140826/parisian-thrown-off-plane-over-body-odour
A 22-year-old in Illinois told his 55-year-old dad he was dropping out of college on Sunday. And his dad responded by putting a GUN to his head, and telling him to reconsider. He was arrested for aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon.
On Sunday, two guys in Australia beat up a complete stranger after he refused to buy weed from them. Then they ran off, and wrapped their shirts around their heads to disguise themselves. But one of them forgot his NAME was tattooed across his back. Police eventually found them at a nearby bar.
A 20-year-old guy in Nebraska wanted for a parole violation was arrested on Friday . . . after he posted a video on Facebook taking the Ice Bucket Challenge. Someone recognized the house in the video and tipped off the police. http://www.omaha.com/news/crime/ice-bucket-challenge-video-leads-officers-to-wanted-omaha-man/article_497430f6-0a22-5162-a116-4ccdd0ce640b.html
Believe it or not, you can now buy an Ice Bucket Challenge Halloween costume . . . it's just a blue bucket with a sheet of plastic coming out, with fake ice cubes attached. They're selling it for $40, plus at least $10 for shipping and handling . . . and the company says they'll donate $10 to ALS for every costume they sell.
The pumpkin spice products are coming. It looks like the newest limited edition Oreo flavor is Pumpkin Spice Oreos. They should go on sale soon, probably at either Target or Walmart.
Wednesday,july 23, 2014
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Toyota just announced a new option in their 2015 Sienna minivan. You can get an optional MICROPHONE in the driver's seat that amplifies your voice through the speakers in the backseat . . . to make it easier to yell at your kids.