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Friday!! April 17, 2015

Watch a U.S.senator get laughed at when his ‘Frozen’ Ringtone interrupts a public hearing.http://uproxx.com/webculture/2015/04/watch-a-u-s-senator-get-laughed-at-when-his-frozen-ringtone-interrupts-a-public-hearing/
A guy in England filmed himself having sex with his DOG last month . . . then accidentally sent the video to his girlfriend.  She called the police, and he just got a 12-week suspended sentence, rehab, and has to register as a sex offender. http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/12890701.Bassett_man_sent_video_of_himself_having_sex_with_dog_to_girlfriend__court_hears/
Johnny Cash lyrics used in Instagram post is taken as a threat, creating fear, confusion at Lower East Side school.http://uproxx.com/music/2015/04/why-were-the-cops-called-when-a-teen-put-johnny-cash-lyrics-on-instagram/
Snap, crackle, pop: study reveals secret behind knuckle-cracking http://www.aol.com/article/2015/04/16/mri-study-sheds-light-on-knuckle-cracking-noise/21172879

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Kenneth Crowder, 41, was arrested by police in Melbourne, Fla. last week after his flakka high led him on a misbegotten, naked journey through a residential neighborhood, a reported brawl with a police officer, and an alleged "sexual act on a tree."http://gawker.com/naked-flakka-freak-who-calls-himself-god-fights-cop-fu-1698006931
A woman in Japan was so fed up with her husband's terrible smelling POOP that she SNAPPED earlier this week . . . and stabbed him in the face.  He was hospitalized with a huge gash on his left check, and she was arrested.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/15/emi-mamiya-stabs-husband-poop-_n_7071722.html
That epic DENNIS QUAID on-set meltdown video might have been a prank after all.  Yesterday, FunnyOrDie.com posted the supposed "full" version of what happened, making fun of the original video.  
A bunch of new characters are ripping each other’s body parts out in Mortal Kombat X. That’s nothing new in the decades-old fighting series. But, a gay character? http://kotaku.com/meet-mortal-kombats-first-gay-character-1698060987/+maxread
A new survey found families only spend an average of 34 minutes together on weekdays, and 97 minutes on weekends . . . and most of that time is spent watching TV or playing around on phones.  The average family also only eats four meals together a week.
Greer man wins lottery 2nd time in a year. http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/28789474/greer-man-wins-lottery-2nd-time-in-a-year.
Internet Freaks Out Over Clinton Logo.
Woman canned after sending worst text ever to boss.
JUSTIN BIEBER has been on his best behavior recently . . . but things got rough on Sunday, when he was booted from Coachellahttp://www.tmz.com/2015/04/13/justin-bieber-kicked-out-coachella-chokehold-security-drake-concert-video/
For anyone claiming pot is a gateway drug that will lead to a gradual downward spiral, Catherine Hiller. http://www.newser.com/story/205312/washington-lincoln-nixon-were-gay-new-book.html 
It’s one of today’s most pressing questions, dealbreakers, and tastemakers: What is your position on Nickelback?http://uproxx.com/music/2015/04/a-comprehensive-state-to-state-guide-to-americas-lovehate-relationship-with-nickelback/
 A guy in Florida posted an ad on Craigslist a few months ago, offering, quote, "legit counterfeit" money.  The cops contacted him . . . he sold them some . . . they arrested him . . . and he could get up to 20 years in federal prison.http://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/crime/2015/04/13/online-ad-leads-arrest-counterfeit-charges/25704267/
Washington, Lincoln, Nixon Were Gay: New Book http://www.newser.com/story/205312/washington-lincoln-nixon-were-gay-new-book.html
A couple in Florida got into an argument on Sunday morning over who was going to cook breakfast . . . and the woman ended up throwing a bowl filled with RAW EGGS at the guy.  He wasn't hurt . . . but she was arrested for misdemeanor battery.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/eggs/woman-arrested-for-egg-battery-786592


Monday, April 13, 2015

A bus driver in Florida told a passenger to quiet down last week, so when the guy was getting off, he pulled out a SNICKERS bar and threw it at the driver.  He was arrested for misdemeanor battery.http://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/news/national/florida-man-throws-candy-bar-bus-dr/nkq7R
You could own Burt Reynolds’spersonal ‘Smokey And The Bandit’ Car'http://uproxx.com/webculture/2015/04/burt-reynolds-smokey-and-the-bandit-car-auction/
NELLY had a rough weekend.  On Saturday morning, he was arrested on felony drug charges . . . and it was another one of the usual rapper tour bus search and seizures.https://twitter.com/cnnbrk/status/587100570558824448
36-year-old driving instructor was killed in crash at Disney’s Exotic Driving Experience.http://www.wftv.com/news/news/local/fhp-investigates-fatal-incident-disney-property/nkr9W/
What's the most overrated city in the world?  Las Vegas came in first in a new survey, followed by New York . . . Miami . . . Paris . . . and Dubai.https://www.yahoo.com/travel/the-most-overrated-city-in-the-world-is-115405879372.html

Friday! April 10, 2015

A 55-year-old woman in Australia was in an elevator in her luxury apartment complex back in October, and it suddenly plunged three floors.  She says it injured her spine and somehow killed her sex drive . . . so now she's suing for damages.
Jon Hamm has a pretty dark secret from his college days, according to records unearthed by the AP and Star magazine.
The skinnier you are, the more likely you are to get Alzheimer's in your old age, according to British researchers who sound baffled by their own findings.http://www.newser.com/story/205241/overweight-people-a-lot-less-likely-to-get-alzheimers.html
A 40-year-old guy in Florida who didn't have a license was getting a driving lesson from his 17-year-old SON on Tuesday . . . accidentally drove onto a baseball field . . . and BOTH of them got arrested.  It's not clear why he asked his son to teach him how to drive . . . because the son didn't have a license either.http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/palm-beach/boynton-beach/fl-boynton-beach-drivers-training-arrest-20150408-story.html

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Boston Marathon bomber has been convicted of all charges against him. http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/08/us/boston-marathon-bombing-trial/
A new survey found one in six people buy their DOG something when they go through the drive-thru.  And they're most likely to get him something from McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's.http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/1-out-of-6-customers-is-a-dog-300062528.html
  A new study found free versions of apps cost you MORE than the paid versions . . . in the long run.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3027959/Are-scammed-free-apps-Study-warns-ads-kill-battery-boost-bill-phone.html
Apple released their new emojis yesterday . . . redheads are upset there's no ginger . . . some people are upset that the "prayer hands" don't have rays of sun emanating from them anymore . . . and taco lovers are upset there's STILL no taco emoji.http://mashable.com/2015/04/08/red-head-emoji-petition/

Wednesday, April 6, 2015

A Canadian Hero Reportedly Punched Marilyn Manson In The Face At Denny’s!
Dave Chappelle Has Been Recording Footage For A New HBO Comedy Special!

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

A woman in New York just got permission to be the first person ever to serve someone divorce papers over FACEBOOK.  She hasn't seen her husband since 2011 and private investigators couldn't track him down . . . but he IS active on Facebook.  So a judge just gave her the go-ahead to use a Facebook message.http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/exclusive-woman-facebook-serve-divorce-papers-article-1.2174577
A New Hampshire teen who dreams of becoming a cop one day was jailed this week after he allegedly impersonated a police officer at a popular ice cream stand.
Meet the Chinese Lumberjack who slept with an alien!
If you're traveling to distant planets anytime soon, you might think twice about raising a ruckus: The inhabitants likely weigh an average of 650 pounds, a cosmologist says.http://www.newser.com/story/205043/aliens-are-huge-expert.html
James Best, whose prolific career included 83 movies and 600 TV shows but is best remembered for his role as Rosco P. Coltrane, the bumbling sheriff of Hazzard, died Monday night in Hickory.http://www.charlotteobserver.com/entertainment/tv/media-scene-blog/article17597600.html

Monday, April 6,2015

 Lynyrd Skynyrd's original drummer has died in a car crash in Georgia. Bob Burns, 64
New Jersey police are investigating claims that rapper Earl Simmons, better known as DMX
A new study found that people with lots of dirt, dust, and mold in their house are more likely to have GHOST sightings.  Mold is the biggest problem, since it can trigger psychosis in your brain and lead to things like depression and anxiety
Paramedics in England were helping a 92-year-old man with chest pains back in February, and left their ambulance unlocked.  So a couple got in and were about to have sex when the crew got back . . . and the guy punched one of the paramedics.  He was just sentenced to two years and eight months in prison.
CHRIS WALLACE from Fox News and conservative radio host MIKE GALLAGHER apologized for fat-shaming KELLY CLARKSON on Gallagher's show Friday.  Wallace said, quote, "I admire her remarkable talent and that should have been the focus of any discussion about her."  And Gallagher called it, quote, "a really stupid thing for me to do."http://www.msn.com/en-us/music/celebrity/chris-wallace-apologizes-for-offensive-comment-about-kelly-clarksons-weight/ar-AAasYcp

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Someone made a March Madness-style bracket to determine, quote, "The MOST '90s Band of All Time."
An editor for Playboy.com was digging around the office for old photos, and he made an interesting discovery:  In the '70s and '80s, four actors had secret, underground tunnels directly from their homes to the Playboy Mansion.http://www.playboy.com/articles/tunnels-to-celebrity-homes-playboy-mansion
A woman in Florida had to take a drug test as part of her probation earlier this year, but didn't think she'd pass.  So she smuggled a little bottle of warm water and yellow GATORADE in her lady parts and poured THAT into the test cup.  It came back as Gatorade . . . and she was arrested for violating her probation.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/gatorade-urine-test-786901

Monday, March 30, 2015

A four-year-old girl in Philadelphia snuck out of her house at 3:00 A.M. on Friday, and got on a BUS . . . all because she wanted a slushie.  Fortunately the bus driver called the cops, and they took her home.  No charges are being filed.http://time.com/3762652/girl-bus-slushie/
 BILL COSBY was heckled at a show in Maryland Friday night.  As usual, he told the rest of the audience not to fight back, and the heckler was ejected from the show.  Meanwhile, two more women came forward claiming Bill drugged and raped them.  One attack allegedly occurred in the mid-'60s, the other in the mid-'70s.http://www.thewrap.com/bill-cosby-accused-of-sexual-assault-by-two-more-women/
Scientists have figured out why hipsters grow beards.  It's because they need to show they're manly AND stand out in the huge pool of guys in online dating . . . and a beard takes care of both
 70% of people say they text the wrong person all the time . . . 33% have gotten into a major fight after they sent someone a text that was meant for someone else . . . and 10% have even sent a SEXUAL message to the wrong person.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3013308/Two-thirds-Brits-admit-ve-accidentally-messaged-wrong-person.html

AskMen.com released a list of the 99 Most Outstanding Women.  EMMA WATSON came out on top, followed by Ronda Rousey, Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift and Lindsey Vonn. http://www.askmen.com/specials/2015_top_99/1-emma-watson.html
A 350-pound guy robbed a Domino's in New York on Tuesday, and when they didn't have a lot of cash he went to Plan B.  He noticed two large cheese pizzas in the oven, and demanded THOSE.  So the employees boxed them up and he took off.  The cops are using surveillance footage to track him down.
The next "Friday the 13th" movie will explain why Jason Voorhees can't be killed.  It'll also be done in the increasingly annoying "found footage" style.  It comes out in May of next year, and it's not a sequel to the 2009 reboot.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Fast food rage is not a victimless crime.  30-year-old Shaneka Monique Torres of Grand Rapids, Michigan went through a McDonald's drive-thru in February last year, and ordered a bacon cheeseburger . . . but they forgot her bacon.http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2015/03/no_bacon_on_burger_shooter_fou.html
22-year-old Carolynn Wright is a stripper at a club called Chez Joey in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina . . . and back in November, she made the news after she WEAPONIZED her stripper heels.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/stiletto-attack-guilty-plea-908734 

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A guy in Florida was stalking two women on Sunday night, so they drove to the only safe place they could think of . . . a police station.  And he FOLLOWED them.  So the cops got him out of his car, found his zipper and belt were undone, and arrested him for stalking.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

An employee at a miniature golf course in Florida saw, quote, "a hot man" walk in on Saturday night, and wanted to get a look at the guy naked.  So he planted his phone in the bathroom with the camera recording.  But someone else saw it and called the cops.  He was arrested for felony video voyeurism and fired.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/mini-golf-video-voyeur-908732
Americans Poop $4 Billion Worth of Gold a Year? http://motherboard.vice.com/read/scientists-want-to-mine-our-poop-for-gold
DAVID CROSBY was driving on a rural road in Santa Ynez, California on Sunday, when he accidentally struck a 46-year-old man who was jogging with his son on the side of the road. 
A Guy's ISIS Tattoo Got Him Fired From Home Depot . . . Even Though It's His Ex-Girlfriend's Name.http://gawker.com/man-claims-his-isis-lip-tattoo-lost-him-his-job-at-ho-1693073628
A 32-year-old woman in New York got emotional after a traffic stop this past September, and tried to prove she wasn't crazy by telling them President Obama followed her on Twitter.  That made them think she was CRAZIER, and she was sent to a hospital psych.  But he really DOES follow her . . . and 644,000 other people . . . so now she's suing. 
The Best Job in the World Just Opened Up . . . "Brothel Tester"

Monday, March 23, 2015

 A 26-year-old in Georgia posted on Craigslist last week looking for a very special guy.  Apparently she met him at a bluegrass show . . . they hooked up outside an Arby's . . . and he threw up in her lady parts. https://athensga.craigslist.org/mis/4931388479.html
A guy in Georgia got into an argument with a woman in a convenience store last week, and when they got outside she attacked him . . . with her BREASTS.  Basically she bumped him with her chest, and he reported it as assault.  The cops identified her but haven't made an arrest yet.
DEEP ELLUM, Texas — Two women in Texas are on the run after they performed an illegal butt injection that killed a woman.
 The great VERNE "MINI-ME" TROYER had a seizure on Saturday while he was signing autographs at the Heart of Texas Comic Con in Waco.  He was taken to the hospital as a precautionary measure, but he's fine.
A 51-year-old guy in Michigan was busted a few times earlier this year, for going to stores and randomly showing employees his NUDE SELFIES.  He told the cops he did it because it cheered him up when he was feeling down.  But he has a long rap sheet, so now he could be locked up for LIFE.http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2015/03/man_tells_police_showing_pictu.html
A 12-year-old girl in Colorado was arrested on Friday for trying to poison her mother . . . . for taking away her iPhone.  She spiked her mom's drinks with bleach twice this month . . . but her mom caught on the second time.  She's facing two counts of attempted first-degree murder.
Some women who hook up with JOHN STAMOS want more than just the experience.  They want PROOF.  A new book called "How to [Eff] a Woman" includes a Stamos quote where he says, "A couple of women have wanted 'selfies' afterwards.  One girl really wanted my shirt, like a souvenir."http://www.amazon.com/How-ck-Woman-Ali-Adler/dp/1501238302/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427068996&sr=1-1&keywords=Ali+Adler