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Thursday, July 2, 2015

Did Paul Rudd pass gass through an entire interview?

There's a 34-year-old model in Los Angeles named Natasha Wagner, and she's known as the woman with the BEST BUTT in the country.  But not how you might think.http://www.vogue.com/13276750/best-jeans-butt-model-natasha-wagner/
There's a new app called Alibi that automatically records audio and video from your phone 24 hours a day.  It dumps its memory once an hour, but if something important happens you can click "save" to keep it.  It costs 99 cents and it's only available for Android right now.http://www.cbc.ca/news/technology/alibi-app-lets-smartphones-record-video-audio-location-24-7-1.3129190?cmp=rss&cid=news-digests-canada-and-world-evening
TV Land has pulled reruns of "The Dukes of Hazzard" from its schedule.  The show made frequent use of the flag, particularly on the roof of the 'General Lee,' Bo and Luke Duke's orange Dodge Charger. http://www.today.com/popculture/tv-land-pulls-dukes-hazzard-amid-confederate-flag-controversy-t29766

Wednesday, July 1, 2013

BEN AFFLECKand JENNIFER GARNER announced yesterday that they're getting divorced.  They said, quote, "We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time.  This will be our only comment on this private, family matter."http://www.eonline.com/news/672025/inside-ben-affleck-and-jennifer-garner-s-divorce-couple-was-in-therapy-for-2-years-were-not-always-on-the-same-page 
A 65-year-old woman in Florida and her son got into an argument a few weeks ago . . . she says it was over lasagna, he says it was over how much she was spending at Walmart.  He also says she stabbed him in the NIPPLE with a pencil . . . and she says she just slapped him.  Either way, she was arrested for battery.http://offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com/2015/06/25/woman-jailed-in-psl-nipple-stabbing/

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

 An 18-year-old guy in Alabama was having trouble with his girlfriend on Thursday, and decided to work things out by having his mom call his girlfriend's parents and talk to them.  She wouldn't do it, so he started killing one of her chickens every 15 minutes until she DID.  He killed six before the cops arrested him.http://whnt.com/2015/06/25/deputies-elkmont-teen-kills-1-chicken-every-15-minutes-until-mommy-makes-nice-with-girlfriend/
An 18-year-old girl in Florida found her mom's WEED on Sunday night, and started flushing it down the toilet.  But her mom caught her, started screaming at her, then SLAPPED her.  So she was arrested for domestic battery.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/mom-hit-daughter-who-flushed-her-pot-098523 
NBC fired DONALD TRUMP over the anti-Mexico stuff he said in his campaign announcement.  They're ditching both the Miss USA pageant and "Celebrity Apprentice".  Trump didn't back down though.  In addition to standing by his comments, he called NBC "weak" and threatened them with a lawsuit.http://money.cnn.com/2015/06/29/media/donald-trump-nbc-ends-relationship/index.html
A man in West Virginia wouldn't pay his water bill recently, because he claimed his service had been shut off.  The guy who owned the water company was furious, so his 39-year-old daughter and her 20-year-old son went to the man's house last week and BEAT HIM UP.  They were both arrested.http://www.wchstv.com/news/features/eyewitness-news/stories/WV-Woman-And-Son-Beat-Man-Who-Didn-39-t-Pay-Bill-154907.shtml#.VZKRWvlVhBd

Monday , June 29, 2015

Atlanta police say a hearse with a body inside was stolen outside a hospital. Both were recovered a short time later.http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/29426549/hearse-carrying-body-stolen-in-downtown-atlanta 
EDDIE VAN HALEN has been a longtime smoker . . . but he's not blaming that for his tongue cancer.  He thinks he got it from putting brass and copper guitar picks in his mouth, while being in a studio that's "filled with electromagnetic energy."http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/rock/6605231/eddie-van-halen-addiction-david-lee-roth-touring 
A repo man in Indiana was taking a woman's car on Friday, when she started chasing him with a gun.  She fired three shots, missed . . . then hid the gun in her LADY PARTS.  When the cops caught her, they couldn't find the gun until they saw something, quote, "protruding" down there.http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/post-tribune/crime/ct-woman-arrested-after-firing-at-repo-man-20150626-story.html

Friday!!!!! June 26, 2012

Apple is pulling games from the App Store that use the Confederate flag in "offensive and mean-spirited ways,"http://www.businessinsider.com/apple-bans-confederate-flag-apps-2015-6
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC says the red eyes are caused by "chlorine binding with sweat, urine, and other waste from swimmers," http://www.newser.com/story/208859/cdc-blame-pee-not-chlorine-for-pool-red-eye.html

Thursday , June 25, 2015

A Glastonbury woman who waged a campaign of harassment against her neighbour claiming she was a witch and had put a curse on her has been ordered not to contact the victim for the next two years.http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Glastonbury-woman-court-claiming-neighbour-witch/story-26722947-detail/story.html
There's a new social media trend called The Power of Makeup, where women post selfies with makeup on just HALF their face.  The goal is actually to show that it's COOL to wear makeup . . . even though it's trendy right now to say you're anti-makeup.http://mashable.com/2015/06/24/power-of-makeup-selfies/

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Actor Jake Lloyd lead police on a high-speed chase . . . he also attacked his own mother. http://www.tmz.com/2015/06/23/jake-lloyd-star-wars-schizophrenia-assaulted-police-report-beats-mother/#ixzz3dvoYsjmG
Online retailers eBay and Amazon on Tuesday announced they're banning the sale of Confederate flag merchandise, following in the footsteps of their brick-and-mortar counterparts, Walmart and Sears, which announced a similar move on Monday.http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015/06/23/ebay-decides-to-ban-the-confederate-flag-too/
A couple in Ohio got pulled over on Saturday for driving naked, eating pizza, and drinking beer.  They were both arrested, and the guy peed in the back of the police car.http://www.wxyz.com/news/local-news/ohio-woman-accused-of-driving-naked-while-eating-pizza-arrested-for-dui
A guy in Indiana was standing in the parking lot of a bar on Saturday night, dancing by himself and LICKING A TOAD.  The cops made him leave, but he came back a few minutes later licking a NEW toad, and was arrested for trespassing.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/toad-licker-locked-up-086431

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A woman in Australia was recently helping someone move, and she wore SKINNY JEANS.  She spent a few hours squatting to get stuff out of cabinets, and the combination of the jeans and the squatting made her lose feeling in her feet.  She was rushed to the hospital, and it took FOUR DAYS before she could walk again. http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/breaking-news/skinny-jeans-fashion-victim/story-fnihsfrf-1227410482045

Thursday, June 18, 2015

A mass shooting at a historic black church left nine people dead.http://www.newser.com/story/208496/police-chief-church-massacre-a-hate-crime.html

Tuesday June 16, 2015

For the first time, DC Comics has acknowledged what we all knew to be true: Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are more than friends. And we don’t mean BFFs or “gal pals” or “eternal friends” or any other euphemism used to downplay a romantic relationship between two women.http://uproxx.com/gammasquad/2015/06/harley-quinn-and-poison-ivy-are-lovers/
Rachel Dolezal, president of the NAACP chapter in Spokane, Washington, resigned Monday amid allegations of lying about her race.http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/15/us/washington-rachel-dolezal-naacp/

Monday, June 15, 2015

 Some 1.1 million people in the Georgian capital of Tbilisi have been told to stay indoors after widespread flooding left their streets decidedly more wild than usual: Lions, tigers, bears, wolves, and a hippopotamus escaped their confines at the city's zoo after surging waters destroyed them, reports al Jazeera. At least 10 people, including three zoo workers have been confirmed dead, though it's not clear if any of the human deaths were due to escaped animals. "I can’t imagine this tragedy," a zoo rep says. "Almost the whole zoo is underwater. http://www.newser.com/story/208275/wild-animals-roam-streets-after-floods-destroy-zoo.html
A woman in North Carolina was at the ER last week, waiting for her mom's girlfriend to get treated for a back problem.  And she got VERY impatient after 90 minutes.  So she held her lighter up to a sprinkler, FLOODED the ER, and was arrested for damaging property.http://www.morganton.com/news/woman-floods-emergency-room-by-setting-off-sprinkler-police-say/article_8767057e-1087-11e5-a48b-43a14bddfadb.html

Friday!! June 12th, 2015

The great CHRISTOPHER LEE has died at the age of 93, due to respiratory problems and heart failure.  His credits include the "Lord of the Rings" and "Hobbit" movies, the "Star Wars" prequels, a James Bond flick, the British Dracula, Frankenstein, and Mummy movies, and one of the most highly-regarded horror films of all time, "The Wicker Man". http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-33106646
A guy in China recently got a ride on a taxi scooter, and decided to multitask by watching PORN.  But the driver hit a bump, the guy went flying off, and landed on his engorged junk.  He was hospitalized with damaged erectile tissue, and now he's planning on suing the driver.http://shanghaiist.com/2015/06/10/man_breaks_his_penis_after_falling.php

Thursday, June 11, 2015

  CHRIS HEMSWORTH . . . you know, THOR . . . has joined the cast of the female-led "Ghostbusters" movie.  His role?  THE RECEPTIONIST.http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/jun/11/chris-hemsworth-to-play-receptionist-in-all-female-ghostbusters
A new survey found that only 73% of people are buying something for their dad this year, versus 83% who bought something for their mom.  And the average person spends $57 on Father's Day, versus $85 on Mother's Day.http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/fathers-day-fail-kids-dont-always-give-dads-their-due-300096026.html 
A guy got written up at work last week when a coworker found a beer under his desk.  Only it wasn't a beer . . . it was a SEX TOY hidden in a beer can.  The guy says he got it as a gift from his grandfather.  (???)  Fortunately his company didn't find out what was REALLY in the can, so he got a warning and probation.http://imgur.com/gallery/39pGj
Here's how you know a guy is interested when he's texting you.  Three-quarters of them will text within a few days of getting your number . . . 90% will text within two days of a first date if it went well . . . and if they use emoji, it probably means they like you.http://www.vixendaily.com/love/reasons-men-dont-text-back-infographic/
A ticketing site says Bonnaroo is the best value out of all the festivals this year.  They did some research, and found that at $299, a single four-day pass for Bonnaroo will save you almost 75% . . . compared to $1,165, which is roughly what it would've cost you to buy tickets to the separate gigs.http://diffuser.fm/bonnaroo-music-festival-best-value/

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

The world's first ORGY for DISABLED PEOPLE is going down in Toronto this August.  It's being organized by a 35-year-old woman who's in a wheelchair because of a spinal condition . . . she wants to show the world disabled people still like sex.http://www.torontosun.com/2015/06/03/accessible-orgy-a-go-for-disabled
A Spanish court will hear arguments in a most unusual case: A woman who claims to own the sun has sued eBay for blocking her extraterrestrial real estate sales. http://www.newser.com/story/207889/woman-sues-ebay-claims-to-own-the-sun.html
Taco Bell's latest creation is either culinary atrocity or genius deliciousness: It is the Cap'n Crunch Delight, which Today describes as "sweet little doughnut holes filled with creamy milk icing and enrobed in a delicious layer of Cap'n Crunch Berries cereal crumbs."http://www.newser.com/story/207900/taco-bells-newest-ingredient-capn-crunch.html
KIM KARDASHIAN spent $110,000 to rent out the Staples Center so KANYE and his friends could play basketball as part of his birthday celebration.  Players included Justin Bieber, Tyga, Pusha T, and actual NBA stars Russell Westbrook and John Wall.  And Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, Carmelo Anthony, Shaquille O'Neal, and Scotty Pippen made videos that played on the jumbotron.http://www.eonline.com/news/664390/kim-kardashian-rented-out-the-staples-center-for-kanye-west-s-basketball-themed-birthday-party-see-pics
A new Three Stooges animated series — not to be confused with The New Three Stooges cartoon from the ’60s —  is being developed by animation studio Titmouse: http://uproxx.com/tv/2015/06/three-stooges-animated-series-tv/ 
A woman in New York City is suing her dog walker, because he took her dog out in February and SOLD him for some PCP.  No arrests were ever made, but she sued so a judge would order the guy to get her dog back, or pay $10,000.http://nypost.com/2015/06/07/distraught-owner-dog-walker-sold-my-dog-for-drugs/
 A family in Michigan lives in a corner house that drivers keep CRASHING into.  A guy drove into it on Sunday night . . . and that marks the third time it's been hit this year.  He was arrested for fleeing and eluding, and he may've been drunk.  Meanwhile, the family is desperately trying to sell the place.http://www.wwmt.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/-Family-39-s-home-hit-by-car-for-the-third-time-146323.shtml#.VXYFW1xVhBc
Two roommates in Florida got into an argument last week while they were eating pizza . . . and one of them wound up throwing pizza at the other.  Even though it was hot, she wasn't hurt . . . but she did have sauce on her shoulder.  So the guy was charged with misdemeanor battery, but he was on probation and is still in jail.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/man-jailed-for-pizza-battery-679035
A woman in Florida accused her boyfriend of cheating on her on Saturday, and threw her BURGER at his face.  He was okay, but she was arrested for misdemeanor battery.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/woman-busted-for-burger-battery-on-boyfriend-890631 
Punk is dead.  The British bank Virgin Money is releasing three new SEX PISTOLS-themed credit cards.  They'll have images on them from the "Never Mind the Bollocks" album and the single "Anarchy in the U.K.".  And they'll have an interest rate of 18.9%.

Monday, June 8, 2015

The state of New York put up a $100,000 reward on Sunday for anyone who has information that leads to the capture and arrest of the two convicted killers who escaped from an update maximum security prison.http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/06/us/new-york-escapees/index.html
$700,000 over the past two years, by promising to reconnect him with a woman he loved . . . even after the woman DIED.  The guy finally wised up and went to the cops, and they arrested the fortune teller last week for grand larceny.http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/06/nyregion/he-went-to-the-fortuneteller-now-his-fortune-is-gone.html?_r=1
Walmart is trying to improve employee morale by playing less JUSTIN BIEBER and CELINE DION in its stores.  Workers were going crazy listening to the same music over and over again.  So now they're going to have a DJ create fresh playlists and pump the feed into the stories.http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2015/06/03/why-wal-mart-is-ditching-its-celine-dion-soundtrack-and-getting-a-deejay/
A fortune teller in New York City conned a guy out of $700,000 over the past two years, by promising to reconnect him with a woman he loved . . . even after the woman DIED.  The guy finally wised up and went to the cops, and they arrested the fortune teller last week for grand larceny.http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/06/nyregion/he-went-to-the-fortuneteller-now-his-fortune-is-gone.html?_r=0
 LEONARDO DICAPRIO is suing a French magazine that claims he knocked up RIHANNA and won't admit he's the father.  Leo heard about the story when he was in France for the Cannes Film Festival.  He's suing for $20,000 in damages and legal fees, the maximum allowed by French law.http://www.gossipcop.com/leonardo-dicaprio-sues-french-magazine-oops-rihanna-baby/

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

JAKE GYLLENHAAL gave a strange interview, where he tried to describe his approach to acting by saying that since we are "like 90% water," we are "affected by the moon when it's full," just like the ocean.  So if you spend time in the real-life environment of the character you're playing, it's more real.  Or something.
Clint Eastwood has picked his next project as a director—the story of how Capt. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger landed his US Airways plane safely in the Hudson River in 2009.http://www.newser.com/story/207711/eastwood-to-direct-captain-sully-biopic.html
The second part of the "Today" show's interview with TRACY MORGAN aired yesterday.  Tracy said he doesn't know how he'll be funny again, but he vowed to make it back for the fans.
 A woman shoplifted three phone chargers from a Rite Aid in Connecticut on Sunday, and replaced them on the shelf with a pile of her POOP.  She also wiped herself using some tissues and left those on another shelf.  The cops caught her before she left the store and she was arrested.http://www.nhregister.com/general-news/20150601/pd-shoplifter-took-350-in-goods-left-feces-at-middletown-store
The hot new social media trend is the "Hold a Coke With Your Boobs Challenge."  Women are posing with a can or bottle of Coke between their breasts, to raise awareness for breast cancer.  And, well, to show off.http://jezebel.com/holding-a-coke-with-your-boobs-isnt-going-to-help-anyon-1708458980

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

 BRUCE JENNER is no more. "Vanity Fair" introduced the world to CAITLYN JENNER yesterday, when they released their cover photo of her.  She had facial-feminization surgery in March, but has yet to undergo gender reassignment.  And for the record, her cup size is 38B.http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/06/01/jessica-lange-learns-about-caitlyn-jenner-comparisons-that-s-so-wonderful.html


Friday May 29, 2015

 American actors Clint Eastwood, Adam West, Burt Reynolds, and even Dick Van Dyke were all approached to succeed Sean Connery as James Bond, but it didn't work out for one reason or another.  Mel Gibson also wanted the part in the '80s, but he was deemed too short.http://uproxx.com/movies/2015/05/5-americans-who-could-have-played-james-bond/5/
A woman in Michigan ordered an ice cream cone last weekend, but apparently the employee didn't put enough sprinkles on it.  So she started SCREAMING at him, then tried to hit her friend for trying to calm her down.  The cops showed up, but the employee ultimately decided not to press. charges.http://www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/index.ssf/2015/05/ice_cream_sprinkles_cause_of_r.html
Bob Saget will return as Danny Tanner for Full House reboothttp://www.theverge.com/2015/5/29/8685217/bob-saget-fuller-house-netflix-reboot
SANDRA BULLOCK talked about the "Magic Mike XXL" trailer yesterday, and said it makes her OVULATE.  Quote, "It's weird.  You think you're a strong woman, 'I can think for myself.  I've got my own business, I'm a mom.'  Uhhh . . . it just happens.
 Some people in Nashville are getting annoyed with aging rock stars who try their hand at country music.  CLAY WALKER is ticked off by the whole thing.  And WILL HOGE even coined a name for it.  He calls the trend "Carpetbagger Country".https://twitter.com/WillHoge/status/596337717069225984
Last year, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER raised money for after-school programs by auctioning off chances to ride around in a tank with him and crush stuff.  Well, he's doing it again, but he's upping the ante.http://www.omaze.com/experiences/arnold-schwarzenegger-2
British Airways flight to Dubai was forced to return to London due to a foul odour emanating from an overflowing toilet.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-2994583/British-Airways-flight-Dubai-forced-return-Heathrow-Airport-foul-odour-toilet.html