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  On Wednesday, a drug dealer in Alabama tried to hide from the cops in some weeds behind his house.  So they used his own DOG to track him down . . . by saying "go get him", like it was a game.  And it led them straight to where he was hiding.http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/10/30/dog-helps-alabama-police-arrest-owner-during-chase/
A woman in Montreal recently sued Google after she checked her address on Google Street View, and it showed her sitting outside in a low-cut top . . . with her CLEAVAGE on full display.  And a judge just awarded her over $2,000 in damages.
A guy in Texas woke up on Monday night to find a random woman performing sexual favors on him.  Turns out it was his friend's 31-year-old WIFE . . . she'd broken into his house and was going to town on him.  But it's still sexual assault, even though it was a woman doing it to a man . . . and she was arrested.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/texas-woman-sexually-assaults-man-687432

Thursday, October 30, 2014

A 26-year-old in New York was dressed as a ZOMBIE last weekend, and got pulled over for drunk driving.  The cops let her out a few hours later . . . and she went RIGHT back to driving.  So they pulled her over again, and she got two DUIs in three hours.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/zombie-arrested-for-drunk-driving-687432
Two friends were out hunting and drinking in Montana on Sunday.  And when they got home, one of the guys started making sexual advances toward his friend . . . then wound up pulling a KNIFE when his friend turned him down.  He was arrested for felony assault with a weapon.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/hunting-assault-over-spurned-sexual-advances-687432 
A woman went to a pharmacy in Germany on Monday to buy a breast pump . . . and when the register was open she lifted up her shirt, whipped out one of her breasts, and started SPRAYING the cashier with breast milk.  Then she grabbed some money, sprayed a DIFFERENT cashier to grab MORE money, and took off.  The police are trying to track her down.http://www.thelocal.de/20141028/thief-squirts-her-breast-milk-to-steal-german-pharmacy-darmstadt
A new survey found the sexiest Halloween costumes for men and women.  For men, the top three are fireman, policeman, and superhero.  For women, the top three are Catwoman, cheerleader, and superhero.http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/sex/is-your-spouse-trick-or-cheating-this-halloween-552223.html

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

 There's a neighborhood in Florida that might cancel Halloween because they're overrun by WILD HOGS addicted to CANDY.  The hogs are huge and they've gotten hooked on human food . . . so the homeowners association is worried they'll attack kids trick-or-treating for their candy.http://gawker.com/ravenous-hogs-fiending-for-candy-may-force-town-to-canc-1651681251
 A new study found that facial hair makes men look SIGNIFICANTLY older.  Light stubble adds three years . . . a goatee adds four . . . a mustache adds five . . . and a thick beard adds 10.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2811015/DON-T-beard-like-Beckham-want-stay-looking-young-Research-shows-facial-hair-make-man-look-TEN-years-older.html 
A guy in Pennsylvania went to a Halloween party on Saturday as the yellow Teletubby.  Then around 2:00 A.M., he broke into a friend's place, grabbed Chinese leftovers out of the fridge, and dumped them in his man purse.  The cops got involved because he busted the door, but his friend decided not to press charges.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/Teletubby-steals-Chinese-food-576321
A 51-year-old guy in Wales was arrested a few years ago for possession of bestiality porn . . . for a video that showed a woman having sex with a tiger.  But the charges were dropped once the police realized the tiger was actually a man dressed in a tiger costume.http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bus-driver-cleared-over-tiger-4515983

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

On Sunday, a guy in Colorado was backing out of his driveway when he dropped a lit cigarette down his shirt.http://www.9news.com/story/news/local/2014/10/26/man-drops-cigarette-runs-over-his-own-head/17963145/
A 45-year-old guy in Michigan was dressed as a zombie on Saturday . . . decided to scare drivers . . . and was promptly RUN OVER.  The driver kept going, and the police haven't tracked him down.  The guy was hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries.http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2014/10/man_dressed_as_zombie_struck_b.html
A 37-year-old woman in Maine was driving drunk after a Halloween party around 2:00 A.M. on Sunday . . . and when the cops pulled her over, she was in a full HELLO KITTY costume.  She was arrested for drunk driving.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/drunk-driving/hello-kitty-drunk-driving-908451 
A 33-year-old guy in Georgia was in an online relationship with a woman in Kentucky, and moved there last month to be with her.  But when he found out she didn't look like her profile photos . . . he CHOKED her and left.  The cops arrested him on his way back to Georgia, and he's been charged with assault.http://www.kentucky.com/2014/10/21/3492948_man-allegedly-assaulted-laurel.html?rh=1
A guy in Georgia was trying to text his drug dealer for pot recently . . . but texted his PROBATION OFFICER instead.  So the probation officer called the cops, who raided his home and found cocaine.  On Monday, he was sentenced to a year in prison for it, and got another year for violating his probation.http://www.walb.com/story/26851352/man-accidentally-texts-probation-officer-in-pot-deal
 A new survey on paranormal activity found that 54% of Americans believe in ghosts . . . 41% think aliens are visiting Earth . . . 21% believe in Bigfoot . . . and 17% think fortunetellers can see the future.http://www.chapman.edu/wilkinson/research-centers/babbie-center/survey-american-fears.aspx
A 47-year-old in West Virginia was arrested on Wednesday for having relations with his DOG.  And he said he thought it was perfectly LEGAL . . . because the dog is over 40 pounds, and it's been fixed.  He's facing animal cruelty charges.http://www.charlestondailymail.com/article/20141022/DM02/141029663/1296

Thursday, October 23, 2014

 On Tuesday, a 33-year-old woman in Florida was drinking with her roommate.  Then she found out he'd thrown away some leftover spaghetti she wanted to eat . . . so she doused him with nail polish remover, and lit him on FIRE.  He ended up with burns to his face, chest, and shoulders.  She's being charged with aggravated battery and attempted MURDER.http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Woman-Sets-Boyfriend-on-Fire-in-Clearwater-Police-280034732.html
On Sunday a guy in Michigan flipped his car during a high-speed chase with police.  Then he immediately pulled out a BONG, and started smoking it while three cops broke out his window, and yanked him out of the car.  He's charged with eluding police, possession of marijuana, and driving under the influence of drugs.http://www.nbc24.com/news/story.aspx?id=1112126&hpt=ju_bn2#.VElHtPnF_KP
A 47-year-old guy in Wales pretended to be paralyzed and in-and-out of a coma for TWO YEARS to avoid going to court on fraud charges.  Then police recently found security footage of him WALKING around a grocery store.  And when he finally showed up to court on Tuesday in a neck brace and wheelchair, they played it for him . . . and he ended up pleading guilty to 19 counts of forgery, fraud, and theft.http://news.yahoo.com/uk-man-faked-coma-2-years-avoid-court-121413052.html
Two guys dressed as evil clowns were working at a haunted house in Illinois earlier this month.  And one just got arrested for battery . . . after he pretended to attack a woman and her 17-year-old daughter, while threatening them with a SEX TOY.  The woman is suing for negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/haunted-house-assault-lawsuit-786543

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A 73-year-old drama teacher in Montreal was fired recently . . . after one of her students found out she did NUDE scenes in a few French films 40 years ago.  According to her, they were tasteful and artsy.  But the school says it's changed the entire atmosphere in the classroom, and they had no choice.http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/montreal-teacher-73-loses-job-over-film-nudity-more-than-40-years-ago/article21183669/
 A 24-year-old drunk guy in Minnesota was arrested Saturday for assault after he snuck up behind a cop on the street . . . and gave him a DOUBLE WET WILLY.  He ended up spending three days in jail for it.  But a judge eventually let him plead guilty to a lesser charge, and he just had to pay $77 in court costs.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/man-gives-cop-wet-willy-671324
RENEE ZELLWEGER attended the "Elle" magazine Women in Hollywood event on Monday night looking like . . . ANYONE BUT RENEE ZELLWEGER.http://gawker.com/here-are-some-pictures-of-renee-zellweger-1648827025
Someone in New Orleans posted an ad on Craigslist over the weekend . . . looking for some, quote, "cool BLACK KIDS" to hang out with their son, so he'll stop getting bullied.  They also mentioned the kid doesn't know about the ad, and they're offering $15 an hour, plus expenses.http://neworleans.craigslist.org/sec/4722434958.html
A 74-year-old guy in Wisconsin was arrested recently when he walked out of Walmart with $300 worth of stuff . . . because he didn't want to wait in LINE.  He tried to explain that he hates standing in line . . . steals stuff ALL THE TIME to avoid it . . . and he's never had a problem.  But he got arrested for shoplifting anyway.http://fox6now.com/2014/10/20/walmart-shoplifter-says-he-doesnt-like-to-wait-in-lines/
 You may not have heard this one before:  In his interview with "GQ", MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY says that his father passed away . . . during SEX.  He explains, quote, "My dad died of heart failure making love to my mother.http://www.gq.com/entertainment/celebrities/201411/matthew-mcconaughey-career?currentPage=2

Tuesday, October, 21, 2014

Late Saturday night, two guys lost a game of beer pong at a house party in Ames, Texas . . . and responded by pulling out GUNS and OPENING FIRE.  Luckily, no one was killed.  But one girl got shot in the leg.  And one of the guys who were shooting ALSO got shot.  They're both facing charges for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/beer-pong/beer-pong-shooting-765402
According to a round-up of scientific facts about boobs:  If you're poor, hungry, and sexist . . . you prefer big cans.  But if you're rich or into submissive woman, you like SMALL breasts.  And if you don't want kids, you ALSO don't want a woman with huge cans.http://www.salon.com/2013/08/17/9_weird_facts_about_breasts/


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Earlier this month, a 24-year-old teacher in Texas complained to an administrator that one of her students had somehow gotten his hands on a NAKED PHOTO of her.  And when they started looking into it . . . they found out she was actually SLEEPING with the student.  So now she's facing felony charges.http://www.click2houston.com/news/former-pasadena-isd-asst-cheer-coach-accused-of-having-sex-with-student/29235938
On Sunday, a woman in California tried to break into her ex-boyfriend's house through the CHIMNEY, and got STUCK.  Firefighters finally got her out five hours later, by breaking the chimney apart, and lubing her up with dish soap.http://ktla.com/2014/10/19/firefighters-rescue-woman-trapped-in-chimney-at-thousand-oaks-home/

Monday, October 20, 2014

A 39-year-old woman in Michigan was barhopping on Saturday, and pulled into the parking lot of what she THOUGHT was another bar.  But it turned out it was a parking lot for the local JAIL.  And a cop who spotted her arrested her for DUI.http://www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/index.ssf/2014/10/drunken-driver_arrested_after.html
On Wednesday, a cop in Gainesville, Florida saw a drunk woman about to drive, and told her not to.  But she just stared him down . . . tried to drive off anyway . . . and he pulled her over for DUI.http://www.gainesville.com/article/20141016/ARTICLES/141019692 
Earlier this month, a guy in Washington state hired someone to erase all the PORN on his computer, so his wife wouldn't find it and divorce him.  And the person he hired ended up finding a bunch of CHILD pornography that HE made.  So they reported him to the FBI.  And now he's getting divorced AND going to jail.http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Police-Man-tries-to-hide-child-porn-from-wife-5828139.php
On Thursday, a woman in Columbus, Ohio called 911 and said her sister had just been to Africa and might have EBOLA.  So police roped off her house with crime-scene tape, and people in HAZMAT suits showed up.  But it turned out the sister DIDN'T have Ebola symptoms and HADN'T been to Africa.  The woman just said that to get an ambulance there faster.http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2014/10/16/Columbus-woman-complains-of-Ebola-symptoms.html


Friday October 17, 2014

Last year, a guy in Michigan openly FONDLED himself in a McDonald's drive-thru . . . then went back a few minutes later to get more food, and did it AGAIN.  And the only reason he didn't get away the second time was because they called police . . . asked him to wait while they made some fresh fries for him . . . and he waited.  He just got two years' probation and has to go to rehab for sex offenders.http://www.mlive.com/news/bay-city/index.ssf/2014/10/bay_city_sex_offender_gets_pro.html
Someone at a school in Florida saw a poisonous snake near a pop warner football practice last week.  Then two women got arrested after one of them said she had a gun, and the other tried to SHOOT the snake with it, but missed.  The first woman was arrested for having a concealed firearm on school property.  And the other was arrested for discharging a firearm on school grounds, which is a FELONY.http://www.newsherald.com/news/crime-public-safety/woman-shoots-at-snake-and-lands-in-jail-1.387442?tc=cr
 Three people in Houston were arrested recently after someone tried to mail them drugs . . . and accidentally put their NEIGHBOR'S address on the box.  Apparently the neighbor opened it, and called police.  Then after an anonymous tip, cops went to a nearby house, where they found $100,000 worth of drugs.http://www.chron.com/houston/article/Mistaken-package-delivery-leads-to-huge-Houston-5824565.php#photo-7003429

YAY... Friday October 17, 2014

Thursday October 16, 2014

A guy in New Mexico was driving drunk on Monday and smashed his car into a pole.  When the cops got there and arrested him, he offered a bribe to let him go . . . a free MOUNTAIN DEW.  For some reason, the cops turned him down . . . he's facing charges of aggravated DWI and BRIBERY.http://www.koat.com/news/police-man-tried-to-get-out-of-dwi-using-mountain-dew/29125834#ixzz3G9npErF0
A 19-year-old guy in Florida went into a Walmart on Tuesday afternoon, grabbed a stuffed toy horse off the shelves, and proceeded to have sex with it.  Once he was finished, he tried to put it back on the shelf . . . but security caught him.  He was arrested for indecent exposure and criminal mischief . . . Walmart decided the horse was contaminated and won't be selling it.http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/florida/walmart-stuffed-animal-defiler-657903
A 60-year-old guy from Chicago who runs a wildlife park and animal rescue sanctuary in Mexico was at the park on Monday, and as he was walking through a camel pen, one of the camels ATTACKED him and KILLED him.  Officials think it's because the guy would give the camel a COCA-COLA every day . . . and that day he hadn't.http://bigstory.ap.org/article/2f7b5f3d8cce4e9eb5f7775f972f5996/us-man-killed-camel-mexican-wildlife-park

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Last week, police in Texas found a naked woman sitting in a tree after she'd been running around knocking on doors, looking for her METH dealer.  But she wasn't arrested, because she cooperated and texted the dealer . . . who got busted when he showed up to sell her more meth.http://www.ktre.com/story/26745802/trinity-sheriff-naked-woman-in-cedar-tree-leads-to-meth-dealer-arrest?hpt=ju_bn2 
A 56-year-old guy was hunting in Canada this weekend when a grizzly bear ATTACKED him.  Another hunter tried to stop the mauling by shooting the bear . . . but accidentally shot the GUY instead.  Somehow, the guy survived the mauling AND the shooting . . . he was airlifted to a hospital where he's in stable condition.http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/fernie-grizzly-bear-attack-sends-man-to-calgary-hospital-1.2796653
 People bestow money, pictures, jewelry, and even their ashes to loved ones when they die. Now an entrepreneur in Holland wants to help people take it to the next level—a level that's incredibly personal and somewhat macabre.http://www.newser.com/story/197140/leave-your-tats-to-loved-ones-when-you-die.html
  A 14-year-old girl in England was walking through a park last week when a 35-year-old man came up behind her and GRABBED her arms.  Fortunately, he was pretty thin and weak . . . and she had been taking martial arts classes for years.  So . . . she broke free and BEAT THE HELL out of him until the cops got there to arrest him.http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/09/attacker-beaten-up-by-schoolgirl-martial-artist-4899048/?ito=facebook
  A 35-year-old guy in Atlanta met a 40-year-old guy on Tinder a few weeks ago and they got together at a McDonald's for a date.  After that, they went to a friend's apartment . . . where the 40-year-old started STABBING the 35-year-old and stole his wallet and his car.  The 35-year-old was hospitalized . . . police are looking for the guy who stabbed him.http://www.projectq.us/atlanta/atlanta_man_stabbed_during_tinder_hookup

Monday 13, 2014

A 22-year-old woman in Florida was working as a pre-kindergarten teacher . . . and started posting videos of herself TWERKING on Vine.  Her popularity exploded . . . she's now up to two million followers . . . and she QUIT her teaching job because, quote, "What I make in six seconds would take me like four months to make as a pre-K teacher."http://uproxx.com/smokingsection/2014/10/teacher-twerker-jessica-vanessa/
Two grandmas in Pennsylvania were at a hospital maternity ward back in August, waiting for their twin great-grandchildren to be born . . . when one made a comment that she was worried about the babies.  The other grandma thought that was disrespectful . . . and wound up PUNCHING her.  She was arrested for assault and harassment.http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2014/10/10/police-investigate-fight-between-great-grandmothers-in-maternity-ward/
A 38-year-old guy in England was high on amphetamines and broke into a family's storage shed earlier this year.  In the middle of stealing stuff, he stopped . . . to have SEX with a teddy bear.  He left behind his DNA in the bear . . . which the cops used to link him to the burglary.  He just pleaded guilty and will be sentenced soon.http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/11529089.Desperate_Darwen_burglar_violated_teddy_bear/?ref=mac

TGIF! Friday October 10, 2014

A woman in Spain gave birth to a baby dwarf this month . . . then broke down and confessed that she'd gotten so out of control at her bachelorette party earlier this year, she had sex with the DWARF MALE STRIPPER.  There's no word on how her husband reacted.http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/09/dwarf-stripper-got-bride-to-be-pregnant-on-her-hen-night-4899418/
A guy in England was drunk yesterday morning and tried to shoplift a bottle of wine from a grocery store.  But as he was running out, he crashed into a display and knocked himself unconscious.  And since he never made it out of the store, he didn't technically shoplift . . . so he won't be facing any charges.http://www.eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk/Drunk-knocks-attempting-steal-alcohol-East/story-23073979-detail/story.html
The "National Enquirer" interviewed an HIV-positive transsexual who claims to have given O.J. SIMPSON oral sex when they were prison mates.  He / she says, quote, "I walked up on him and said, 'You can stop me if you want to.'  I knew he wasn’t going to stop me . . . Then it was too late.".http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2787125/Transsexual-prisoner-sexual-affair-O-J-Simpson-bars-reveals-given-HIV.html

Thursday, October 9, 2014

A 34-year-old stripper from Florida was drunk on Monday . . . got into an argument with her boyfriend . . . and grabbed an AX to attack him.  But between her drunkenness and general lack of coordination, she never got close.  She was arrested for aggravated assault.http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-axe-attack-daytona-beach-20141007-story.html
  A new study found the BIGGER your engagement ring . . . the SMALLER the chance your marriage will last.  Researchers found men who spent between $2,000 and $4,000 on an engagement ring were 130% more likely to get divorced than guys who spent $500 to $2,000.http://www.today.com/style/what-cost-your-engagement-ring-may-say-about-your-marriage-2D80202658
It may sound like something out a Planet of the Apes sequel, but it's not. A New York appeals court is hearing a case about whether chimps should be entitled to "legal personhood."http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/tommy-chimp-center-legal-personhood-court-case-n220926
A crematorium off Mechanicsville Turnpike caught fire Wednesday afternoon as an employee was cremating a 500 pound body. Neighbors could see the smoke billowing from the smokestack around noon.http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/26737161/500-lb-body-causes-fire-at-henrico- 
Believe in the power of karma.  A 21-year-old guy set a dog on FIRE two years ago, and permanently disfigured it.  He just got out of a year in prison for it, and on Monday morning someone shot him right in the JUNK.  He was treated for gunshot wounds to the groin and buttocks, and police haven't arrested anyone yet.http://www.buffalonews.com/city-region/police-courts/man-shot-on-humboldt-was-1-of-2-who-set-dog-on-fire-20141006
Back on August 3rd, a couple in Wisconsin got arrested for drunk driving.  And on the way to the police station, they started GOING AT IT in the backseat . . . even AFTER the cop pulled over to make them stop.  So he made the guy ride the rest of the way to the station in the FRONT seat.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/couple-had-sex-in-police-car-098731

Wednesday, October 8,2014

 A 19-year-old guy in Oregon dropped his pants to expose his junk to a woman on Monday.  And when a cop approached him, he tried to run away . . . but forgot to pull up his pants . . . TRIPPED . . . and face-planted.  Then he got up . . . tripped AGAIN . . . and was arrested for indecent exposure.http://www.kptv.com/story/26714428/police-man-exposing-himself-tries-to-punch-officer-trips-over-pants 
A new study found the average person picks up their phone 1,500 times a day.  That seems high, but assuming you're awake for 17 hours, that's about three times every two minutes . . . which doesn't actually seem THAT unrealistic.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2783677/How-YOU-look-phone-The-average-user-picks-device-1-500-times-day.html
A 45-year-old with a gun tried to rob a 7-Eleven in Pennsylvania Saturday night.  Unfortunately for him, the cashier is training to make the U.S. Olympic BOXING team, and beat the HELL out of him.  When he gets out of the hospital he'll be facing robbery and assault charges.http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2014/10/06/robber-attempts-to-hold-up-boxing-champion-clerk/
A new survey figured out the most popular sandwich in the U.S. is . . . TURKEY.  Followed by ham . . . chicken . . . other kinds of subs . . . and peanut butter and jelly.http://www.businessinsider.com/most-popular-sandwiches-in-america-2014-10
A crematorium off Mechanicsville Turnpike caught fire Wednesday afternoon as an employee was cremating a 500 pound body. Neighbors could see the smoke billowing from the smokestack around noon.http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/26737161/500-lb-body-causes-fire-at-henrico-

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A man suffering from back and chest pains finally got an answer to his symptoms – he had an acupuncture needle stuck inside him … for 40 years.http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/10/03/Acupuncture-needle-spent-40-years-in-mans-body/5441412340714/#ixzz3FP6ISt8B
A guy in California took his girlfriend on a hot air balloon ride on Sunday evening, and proposed.  But right after she said yes, the wind picked up, the pilot lost control, and the balloon went down in the Pacific Ocean.  Fortunately lifeguards were able to rescue them, and no one was injured.http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Hot-Air-Balloon-Crash-Lands-Ocean-Sea-Cardiff-San-Diego--278190141.html
A high school teacher in New York had a boring meeting on Friday, so he texted his wife, quote, "Call in a bomb threat."  Then he texted, "Haha."  But she didn't SEE the second text, and actually DID report a bomb threat.  Eight officers went to the school, and eventually figured out it was a misunderstanding.http://nypost.com/2014/10/03/bored-teachers-bomb-threat-joke-backfires-in-east-harlem/
And one 46-year-old dad was so mad he rushed the field and TACKLED him.  He was arrested for simple assault.http://www.nj.com/ocean/index.ssf/2014/10/parent_attacks_football_coach_over_cancelled_season_toms_river_police_say.html
On Sunday, a youth football coach in New Jersey told his players and their parents that he was CANCELING the rest of the season . . . because the kids had bad attitudes and poor sportsmanship.  A 23-year-old guy in England woke up last Friday highly aroused . . . only it wouldn't go away.  He finally went to the hospital after eight hours, and doctors had to drain two pints of blood from his junk . . . and give it 24 injections of medication.  After 17 hours, his engorgement finally went down.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/06/jason-garnett-erection_n_5941172.html
 A 61-year-old woman in England was convinced she would die from breast cancer, so she stole $630,000 from her boss to pay off debt over the course of seven years.  But earlier this year she BEAT IT . . . at the same time her company busted her.  So now she's cancer free . . . but she'll spend the next FOUR YEARS in prison.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2782117/Cancer-patient-stole-400-000-employers-thinking-d-dead-jailed-four-years-getting-clear.html
A 32-year-old guy in Utah was flirting with a woman at a Mexican restaurant on Saturday, and wanted a pen to write down her number.  But an employee said no . . . so the guy STABBED him in the leg and ribs.  A 32-year-old guy in Utah was flirting with a woman at a Mexican restaurant on Saturday, and wanted a pen to write down her number.  But an employee said no . . . so the guy STABBED him in the leg and ribs.  The employee was hospitalized in serious condition, and the guy was arrested for felony aggravated assault.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/stabbing/stabbed-over-a-pen-786321

Monday, October 6, 2014.

A 52-year-old woman in New Hampshire got NOTHING in her father's will . . . and suspected that her sister had hid the real will and duped the family.  So . . . a few months ago she DUG UP her father's grave and searched through his remains to find the REAL will.  She didn't find it . . . and has been hit with several charges.http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/36adb1ddc4c94d569dea25bc76c424f4/US--Grave-Vandalized 
A peace activist tried to raise money for children last week, by floating from Florida to Bermuda in an inflatable ball.  It was a 1,000-mile trip, but after a few days he called the Coast Guard to rescue him just 70 miles off the coast of Florida.http://gawker.com/man-floating-from-us-to-bermuda-in-a-bubble-rescued-by-1642643342
A 41-year-old woman in Mississippi was caught breaking into cars in at her kid's high school last week.  But she said she wasn't stealing stuff . . . she was hunting for ISIS terrorists.  The cops didn't buy her story and arrested her.http://blog.gulflive.com/mississippi-press-news/2014/10/authorities_hurley_woman_burgl.htm
lA 54-year-old guy in France lost control of his car on a curve last week, and flipped his car.  So he called his wife to pick him up . . . she lost control of her car on the SAME curve . . . flipped her car right into her husband . . . and KILLED him.http://www.thelocal.fr/20141003/france-crash-man-kill-by-wife
 A 33-year-old woman in Massachusetts was pulled over a few weeks ago, and a bag of marijuana fell out of her pant leg.  Turns out she'd been storing it in a FAKE BUTT . . . and when the cops searched her, they also found painkillers and heroin in it.http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/heroin-hidden-in-buttocks-enhancer-687543
 A 27-year-old guy in England found out a friend had poked his girlfriend on Facebook, got into a fight with him, and punched him in the face.  But the friend hit his head on the pavement and DIED, and the guy just got four years in prison.http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-jailed-after-killing-pal-4376061

It's Friday! October 3rd, 2014

A 22-year-old woman in Colombia went to the hospital earlier this week with stomach pains.  And doctors quickly figured out why.  (CAREFUL!)  She'd put a POTATO in her lady parts two weeks earlier for birth control . . . and it had sprouted ROOTS.  They removed it and there shouldn't be any long-term effects.http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/10/02/Doctors-remove-potato-from-womans-vagina/4331412272508/#ixzz3F25Jg8Tu
A 30-year-old guy in Florida who's in a wheelchair went on a shoplifting spree at Walmart earlier this week.  He shoved a bunch of stuff down his pants and put a TV on his lap . . . but then his arms weren't free, so he couldn't roll himself out.  So he asked another customer to help, and the guy DID . . . but security was waiting for him, and he was arrested.
On Wednesday, firefighters in Corona, California treated a guy after he passed out from the sun while mowing his lawn.  And after they sent him to a hospital . . . they FINISHED mowing his lawn, and even cleaned up the grass clippings for him.http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2014/10/01/corona-firefighters-save-man-and-then-finish-mowing-his-lawn/
  Thomas Cantley quit his job in order to free up some time to take a most unusual journey: walking from Los Angeles to New York ... while pushing a huge "testicle," http://www.newser.com/story/196714/man-quits-job-to-push-huge-testicle-across-us.html

Thursday, October 2, 2014

A 35-year-old truck driver in Florida swerved and crashed into a school bus on Monday . . . and his wife was in the truck with him NAKED.  Luckily no one was killed, but seven kids and the bus driver were injured, along with the trucker and his wife.  Charges are still pending against him.http://www.gainesville.com/article/20140930/ARTICLES/140939989/1002/news?p=1&tc=pg

 A 46-year-old grocery store worker in New York was busted on Monday for stealing $1,200 worth of meat . . . by shoving it down his PANTS.  That was enough to get him a felony grand larceny charge . . . and he could get four years in prison.http://www.lohud.com/story/news/crime/2014/10/01/meat-theft-hidded-pants-cortlandt-ap-ossining-man/16542917/